It’s no secret that I believe in the world of spirit, a world where our loved ones watch over us and guide us. It is up to us whether we listen and see the signs, a random feather, a butterfly, anything that is symbolic to them.
I see them all the time, it gives me strength and reminds me that this thing called grief will not define who I am today. I was quick to get back on my feet at the start of this process, I threw myself into motherhood, friendships and work. I needed to do this to stay sane as I was focusing on what had to be done. I was afraid to stop because I didn’t want to discover that this was all just a ruse and that I would fall apart.
What I discovered was that I didn’t fall apart, ending up in the foetal position in the corner of a room with my children saying ‘are you okay mummy’. I have days where I am very reflective I have days where I am super busy I have days where I isolate myself. All in all I live, love and cherish the 18 years I had with my husband. I understand why he died and I fully accept that I need to continue with my life for me and my children.
This thing called grief, which I think is a harsh word, is a process that is personal and individual to each person. I am sure however our loved ones would not want us wallowing in sadness and allowing it to dictate who we are going forward. There is a reason why we are still alive and that is to live and love each day and to cherish what we had and look for the signs.